January 2010
17 posts
A Modern Day V. Beauregarde
I’m on a kick for 5 gum. I’ve never really been a gum chewer. Well - that’s not true - I’m a fairweather gum chewer. I go through phases. Some points in my life I was plagued by the need to have a piece of pliant tacky in my mouth every single second. Other points in my life I was disgusted by the edible putty. Today I’m in a good gum chewing place. I usually have a...
The Hookup List →
I forgot how much this story ruled my dinner table talk for a week.
There’s something about silence that’s...
Grits
They don’t serve grits everywhere. I wish they did. It’s like a eating a bowl of a feather bed covered in butter. We always have grits in the house. They’re easy breakfast. Just make a lot one day and zap them in the microwave for the rest of the week. I don’t usually eat breakfast when I’m back West. My dad talks my ear off about it when I’m home....
It's always funnier when an old, Jewish judge says...
Intern: When I get bored of it I cut it off.
Judge Rosenbaum: She said that.
Sometimes when you fall, you fly.
I can fly in all of my dreams. It’s just standard, simple as taking a step. I can always rely on that fact. If my car breaks, I can always just fly to where I need to get. But flying isn’t exactly the ideal mode of transportation. It’s like taking a run: it strains your muscles, you can’t do it for too long and you’re just exhausted after flying anywhere. Basically,...
Bob from Twin Peaks is stalking me via ads. →
